CAPE MAY COURT HOUSE – Catch, pause and reframe. These three simple words, only four syllables in sum, constitute the stabilizing foundation of Michael Pellegrino’s life today. A former 25–year law enforcement officer in Ewing, NJ, Pellegrino also spent two years in the Mercer County prosecutor’s office prior to retiring from the profession.
Today, as a business entrepreneur and strategist, Pellegrino speaks to members of the military, business leaders, individuals and organizations all across the globe about his years of experience, his traumas and adversities to help build stronger minds, and allow those affected by the weight of their burdens and personal demons to live a more meaningful and resilient life.
Pellegrino brought his motivational discussion, Mental CPR: The Power of the Pause, to a nearly–full lecture hall at Atlantic Cape Community College’s Cape May County campus on August 20 as part of this academic year’s TEDxCapeMay Salon discussion series titled “Vital Signs.”
“The heaviest things we carry are not in our hands, they're in our heads. The grudge from 10 years ago; the conversation that didn't go the way we wanted it to; the what ifs that continuously play on at 2 a.m. And unlike the bags I just carried onto this stage, I can't just set them down and walk away,” began Pellegrino. “But, tonight, I want to give you a tool and it’s called mental CPR.”
Pellegrino bravely discussed the emotional, life–altering moments that indelibly left him with psychological scars that will forever be etched into his collective being and how those memories have served as a catalyst for his work today in seeking to help others.
“I spent more than 25 years answering some of the toughest calls. As a police officer, people didn't call on their best days. They called when somebody died, when families were falling apart, when addiction took over and when fear was louder than hope. I was a sounding board for a lot of people, who were experiencing the worst days of their lives,” said Pellegrino. “I wasn't simply responding to emergencies; I was helping people solve problems, listening and learning. Watching what helped and what didn't.”
But trauma at work wasn’t the only hurdle to mould Pellegrino into the man that he is today. Personal traumas have shaped him and hardened his resolve to dedicate his life towards becoming a student of the experts.
“Along the way, I experienced my own traumas. Within just a couple of weeks' time, I experienced several deaths on the job. The loss of my wife's job because they downsized her department and the loss of our unborn child on Thanksgiving evening. That trauma became my greatest teacher and it made me become obsessed with one question, ‘why do some people thrive and other people break under pressure?’” said Pellegrino.
There’s a moment which occurs in our everyday lives — from a road rage incident, a negative telephone call, a rude or unprofessional email or simply a stranger giving you the evil eye for no reason — that tests our emotions. At that moment, our first reaction is to lash out in anger, seeking retribution. Pellegrino refers to this moment in time as our panic voice, but there’s an alternative.
“It's quieter, slower, and honestly, it's usually a lot smarter. It's the voice that says ‘give me a second, let's think about this.’ Let's call this your wise voice. Unfortunately, the panic voice usually always talks first. It's just how we're built. It's not your fault,” assured Pellegrino. “Here's the good news, and honestly, this is the whole talk in one sentence. You can train your wise voice to catch up every time through mental CPR with simple steps: catch, pause and reframe.”
Catch is catching yourself by noticing the moment and the action you are about to undertake. It’s stopping, thinking and adjusting your tactics before it’s too late. The pause is giving yourself a few extra seconds before you respond, to let your wise voice actually get a chance to talk. The pause does not fix the problem, but it gives a calmer and clearer point of view a chance to actually catch up. Lastly, reframing is having the choice of how to respond.
Pellegrino admits that he is constantly striving to be the best version of himself that he can possibly be. He does so because he lives what he preaches to others.
“When you change your mind, you can change your life.”
Atlantic Cape’s Cape May County campus will host its next TEDxCapeMay Salon talk on Thursday, September 17, 5:30 p.m. featuring Dr. Monica Amadio’s discussion Choose What Matters. Tickets are available for $10 at tedxcapemay.com/salon-events-2026. On Sunday, October 4, five speakers — Nicole Nuttall (Love is a Plan), Ryan Abbott (The Inventors), Chester Elton (What Will People Say…), Kathryn Landis (Why the Decisions…) and Dr. Stephen Trzeciak (The Hope Effect) will present their respective discussions from 1 – 4 p.m. at the Cape May County campus as well.
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About Atlantic Cape Community College
Established in 1964, Atlantic Cape Community College is a Middle States-accredited, Hispanic-serving institution proudly serving the residents of Atlantic and Cape May counties. As a comprehensive, two-year community college, Atlantic Cape offers more than 50 undergraduate degree programs and 34 certificate and workforce development professional series programs at its Mays Landing, Atlantic City, and Cape May campuses. Atlantic Cape is home to the renowned Academy of Culinary Arts, rated the top culinary school in New Jersey, and to its highly acclaimed Nursing program for more than 60 years. Atlantic Cape also partners with more than 30 colleges and four-year universities to offer students the opportunity to seamlessly earn a bachelor’s degree upon graduation.
