MAYS LANDING — Growing up, Grey Cubano was not unlike most young children. The 26-year-old Vineland, NJ native enjoyed simple pleasures from reading graphic novels and young adult books to singing and performing in theatre.
Though he and his family would begin moving around Atlantic County when he was nine, on the surface, his life did not seem out of the ordinary. Eventually, Cubano would graduate from Pleasantville High School in 2017 before enrolling full-time at Atlantic Cape Community College as a baking & pastry student in 2018.
While life as a college student gave the appearance of moving in the right direction, a dark and painful truth known intimately only to Cubano himself was hidden away from his family and closest friends.
“When I was 17 years old, I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) because I was sexually abused by a family member for most of my childhood. When I was 17, I chose to leave my home because it was too triggering for me to be in the house. I also had no idea what I wanted to do for the rest of my life,” said Cubano.
After one year in the baking & pastry program, Cubano came to the realization that it was not the right fit for him academically and that he was using baking, along with alcohol and an 18-credit semester, as a coping mechanism to help deal with his past trauma. Change was needed and he found help by speaking with his therapist.
“One day during my second year I was talking to my therapist about how I did not feel that baking & pastry was a good place for me. She suggested that I go to school for social work instead, that it would be beneficial for me because I am always helping others and that I had a big heart. That Fall Semester I dropped all of my baking & pastry classes and switched my major for social work.”
In March 2019, Cubano would face the most difficult moment and decision of his life when he decided to courageously come out as nonbinary. Riddled with self-doubt, Cubano struggled over whether he had made the right decision.
“I was scared how my friends, peers and professors were going to treat me. For most of my life I had denied who I was just to fit someone else's gender ideal. I had denied myself the joy of being authentic and loving myself. When I came out to my friends, they were the most accepting group of people even when some of my family would not accept the person that I am. The professors also accepted me and used my preferred name when talking about me.”
Cubano chose Atlantic Cape right out of high school thanks to its affordability. This decision, in his own words, literally saved his life.
“If I had never enrolled at Atlantic Cape, I think that the direction my life would have taken is me not being here anymore. Life at Atlantic Cape saved me from the really low times because I had people, professors and friends who cared about me. Atlantic Cape made me realize that I had purpose and that I was destined for bigger things. Atlantic Cape shaped me into the leader that I am today. I was the first transgender president of the Pride Club and club coordinator with the Student Government Association in 2020-21. Atlantic Cape allowed me to grow and figure out who I am today.”
One of the Atlantic Cape professors who played a profound role in Cubano’s development was Social Science Professor Heather Boone.
“My first class I had was Introduction to Sociology with Professor Boone. I failed her class the first time, but she taught me the value of social work. She saw value in me even when I saw no value in myself.”
Boone had glowing praise for her former student.
“Grey utilized his college experience for personal exploration, as much as for formal education. His courage and openness fostered his own growth, but also paved the way to understanding and compassion within the college community, and certainly in me. He is a great advocate for himself and others. I’m grateful to have gotten to know him,” said Boone.
After graduating from Atlantic Cape in May 2021 Cubano took a year off from his studies and worked before getting accepted into Rutgers University in 2022 as a Social Work and Gender Studies major under the Garden State Guarantee, which entirely funded all of his undergraduate studies at Atlantic Cape and Rutgers.
While at Rutgers, Cubano interned with Youth Consultation Services, where he coordinated multidisciplinary treatment team meetings, organized community-based and in-facility programming, maintained regular contact with parents and care management organizations, and provided direct support to LGBTQ+ and neurodivergent youth, using developmentally informed, trauma-responsive, and strengths-based interventions to foster emotional, social, and behavioral growth.
Cubano graduated from Rutgers last year Summa Cum Laude with a 3.9 GPA. He received the Gender Studies Award and the James M. Gaffney Memorial Award, which honors the memory of Jim Gaffney, a student life counselor from 1976-1992, and is presented to a student who has achieved success despite a disability.
Last April, Cubano was accepted into the University of Pennsylvania’s Advanced Standing Master of Social Work Program with a partial scholarship as part of a 15-student cohort. Today, he is verifiable proof that living free, happy and confident in oneself can lead to gratifying and unexpected successes.
Cubano is currently a Clinical Social Work Intern at Penn Presbyterian Medical Center, supporting older adult patients through comprehensive psychosocial assessments, discharge planning, and coordination of post-acute services to promote safe transitions of care. He is also a candidate for the LGBTQ+ certificate program at Penn, which is the only university to have a certificate in LGBTQ+ for their Master of Social Work program.
“My work is firmly rooted in trauma-informed practice, prioritizing emotional safety, choice, collaboration, and empowerment for individuals with complex histories. I know this degree will prepare me to be able to get into social work and allow me to work with LGBTQ+, Neurodivergent and individuals to have been through trauma by giving back to my community.”
Cubano’s life experiences have taught him invaluable lessons and given him insight into how best to help others overcome their lived traumas.
“If I were to give advice to someone who has been through what I have been through, I would tell them that it will get better. People who experience trauma have been through horrific things, but working through it can make you be a stronger person. The person that I was almost 10 years ago is not the same person that I am today. Yes, we have good days and bad days, but finding a good support system is crucial.”
The road ahead is clear and the future an open book. Cubano has a dream rooted in lived experiences and helping others realize that they are not alone.
“I would love to make an impact on LGBTQ+ youth that have stories like mine. My story is not very different from others in this community and that is a sad reality. I would like to bridge the gap that both of these communities' face. I just want to be the role model that transgender students can look up to in the field of social work. I think that I can make a difference and I hope to do that for someone else.”
About Atlantic Cape Community College
Established in 1964, Atlantic Cape Community College is a Middle States accredited, 2022 Achieving the Dream Leader College and Hispanic Serving Institution proudly serving the residents of Atlantic and Cape May counties. As a comprehensive, two-year community college, Atlantic Cape offers 47 undergraduate degree programs, and 34 certificate and workforce development professional series programs at its Mays Landing, Atlantic City and Cape May campuses. Atlantic Cape is home to the renowned Academy of Culinary Arts, rated the top culinary school in New Jersey, and for more than 50 years, our highly-acclaimed Nursing program. Atlantic Cape also partners with several four-year universities to offer students the opportunity to earn a bachelor’s degree without having to leave home.
